I suppose 2 am is a good a time as any to let in the tiny thoughts and seeds of change. Sure it invites a feeling of craziness, but that helps keep the harsh judgement of daylight to a small whisper. Newness begs to be drawn out, change is tired of waiting its turn in the corner of the room, and ideas seem plausible with freedom egging them on.
What I am getting at, is that the feelings of a person are validated. Whether that be at 2 am after quite an absence from writing, or whether its just another 20-something BA graduate with too many emotions to keep to herself. Its validated due to my humanity; my person-hood.
So, how much can a person change and in how much time? A solid friendship be stolen away by a disease that changes a person more rapidly than I had imagined possible– that’s change. But that is the kind of change I am aiming to avoid and deny. The change and 2 am ideas I am grasping at here lead to newness, to being shaken up, clean out, pumped up with passion, and revamped in a still, small way, with all the loudness of a soul at peace. I say grasping. Grasping will not work with something as intangible and vaporous as what I’m dreaming up.
What does the morning bring with it apart from the reliable pink horizon of another day? Resolve. A dream memory of the vapors and wishes of change and drive. Live into it. Deny comfort and see the results. Don’t like it? Don’t dwell, move on and journey on to shaking up the next part.
We are never broken. We are all ok, its the journey we must cling to.