I want this to be a closing of a chapter. Please, please let me move to the other side of this. It sure feels like it. Bittersweet, tears and hope.
I wrote a letter. I needed to be honest with myself; not trying to justify my feelings to others to mold them to how they “should” be. So I wrote out that ball of hurt anxiety in me and it felt good to pour it out through a pen and stain my fingers with it.
I came home from work and felt like it had to be now or never. There is such a finality about marriage that conjured up this anxious feeling in me. So I called. It rang. I finally spoke to him. And after all these months it was ok. I said my piece and even wished him the best. There was no anger in our conversation. There was feeling.
So now I let him go. I have been trying so hard to, for so long. Now that this chapter is closed, he is getting married and I was able to hear closure, I can really heal for good. I know I will find who I am supposed to find, and they will be perfect for me. And so stems hope from this too. Bittersweet.
Adele will tell you the rest–
Peace and Blessings on you all,
Namaste — Kira